LAUGHS, CONFESSIONS AND A CAT

First, the confession: I have not been posting recently on The Geezer Diary because I’ve moved again, so I am still slightly Mayflowered out.

by Paolo Camera/Flickr

And then I also need to solve the mess I made as an avowed blogaholic—someone who makes blogs and makes so many of them loaded with so many posts that I no longer know which blog is which, where I should post or even why. (I make new blogs because it’s fun. Go figure.)

As of this morning, I counted 13 blogs on WordPress and Typepad along with too many domain names stored up at Network Solutions. I made blogs for Cranky Pants, my grandkid posse and my house, for my rebel side, my health writer side and the self who is a newspaper columnist. I also have one for business writing—Words 2 Go—that’s my corporate communicator who is now ghost-writing business blogs—and though I have not yet made one for my plants, that might be coming.

As penance for going AWOL and as a plea for forgiveness, I hereby offer a humor compilation of one T. Marni Vos, a speaker with a gilt-edged sense of fun. (If you like this, check out her website—www.tmarnivos.com.) I know from experience that Marni can even make a dying man laugh. She mightily amused our friend in hospice care, Fred Hargesheimer,  shortly before he died last December at age 94.

So here’s Marni’s roundup of thoughts on the recession….

The Recession hits everybody…..

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America …

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally…

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

From Mel–stay warm and happy… and know I am busy unclogging the blogs. Also, for  info about senior health and the delicate subject of growing older, check out my column archives at www.melwalsh.com.

Last, this cheering photo from a friend, Gail Calder. It’s her cat, Milo. I’d title it: Life Imitating Art–Feline Division.


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2 Responses to LAUGHS, CONFESSIONS AND A CAT

  1. Milo Calder says:

    Have the clamoring fans send requests for autographed photos (with a small check) to my business manager. That would be Gail.

  2. Milo Calder says:

    Milo here: So, who’s Art?

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